I stumbled across this in January

After a while you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and
company doesn't mean security,
and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up
and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult
Not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today because
tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can Endure...
that you really are strong,
and you really do have worth.
and you learn and you learn...
with every Good-Bye you learn...

-Veronica Shoffstall



It really made a profound impact on me. especially the line "So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers." in fact, that line is what made me first consider going on a mission. I copied it down in my journal, and re read it a few days ago. even though I'm not coping with loneliness, this poem somehow gives me strength and courage about what lies ahead of me in life. in all aspects.

I've decided that i don't want to complain about sonic. I am lucky to have found work. but in case you're wondering, i would gladly take employment anywhere else. although tips really do brighten my work days.

I am at a solid 125. I had been teetering just above it for a week or so, but now I only have 15 to lose till i reach my goal weight. woot woot!